Today is Maya’s 43rd birthday. I was 43 years old when Maya died, and she was 19. So this year, a mysterious circle is forming. There are so many “I wonders” inside the circle of synchronicity, so many “What ifs?” What if Maya had lived to be middle aged? Who would...
Being a mother who outlives her child is mind blowing. It’s a lot of other things too, of course. But on this day, the 23rd anniversary of Maya’s death, it’s the mind-bending aspect that grabs me. Maya’s beautiful face, her fierce brown eyes that snapped with wit and...
When words wash over you like waves at the beach, make you laugh out loud, or gasp in astonishment, or choke back tears, you know you are hearing a good poem. That's the beauty of poetry - it's music to your ears and to your heart. I write poems in order to hear the...
Maya's quirky little saying, "That's the way live lives," was meant to comfort me. Today, on the 22nd anniversary of her death, it still does. I have a beautiful bouquet of lilacs on my writing table in her honor. Her spunk, fierce intelligence, and beauty are with...
Often, when tragedy strikes, we feel singled out. As if we are the only ones who are suffering. Our culture tends to create an exclusion zone around people who are grieving, or who have been horribly wounded in some way. This only adds to the wounding and makes grief...
"As you approach the holidays, remember: grief is both a necessity and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love. Don’t let anyone take your grief away. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. And allow yourself to be surrounded by loving,...
“There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.” -- Dwight D. Eisenhower, American president Let’s begin with the sobering statistics: 21,000 children die every day around the world. That translates to a child dying...
About six months after my 19-year-old daughter Maya died, I remember walking home from the commuter train station in so much pain I was not sure I could make it. When I reached my driveway, I was choking back tears. I looked up and saw a giant Redwood tree, the furls...
For today's stop on the WOW! Women on Writing blog tour, I'm visiting Mom Loves 2 Read, to talk about grief recovery - an important skill for mortals. Sooner or later we all lose someone we love. How do we move forward after loss? It’s been 21 years since my...
My daughter’s friends called her “Barbie” because of her platinum blond hair. Maya was lean and willowy, with deep brown eyes and a winning smile. But she was no dumb blonde. She appeared in her first play at the age of nine, portraying one of the “no neck monsters”...