I noticed her immediately, a pretty dark-haired woman, beautifully put together. We took turns introducing ourselves sitting in a circle of writers at Esalen for a workshop called “Writing Our Lives.” When it was her turn, she spoke of poems she was writing about her...
I was 43 when my daughter Maya, 19, was declared brain dead after massive head injuries caused by a fall from a horse she was riding bareback. The day before her accident, we learned that she had been accepted by UCLA in its theater arts program. They would provide a...
Maya’s blond pageboy gleamed in the early October light when she came bounding into our apartment. She was about to turn 19, at the beginning of her sophomore year in 1991 at Santa Barbara City College. She had come home for her birthday. She was on fire with her love...
The "Jewel of the Sierra" – Lake Tahoe as it was before ecological disaster became our nightmare come true. When the Caldor Fire blew over Echo Ridge in late August, and roared into the Tahoe Basin, I cried, mourning the immense beauty going up in smoke. For many,...
“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.” Coined by Kristin Armstrong of the Happiness Project at UC Berkeley, this aphorism captures the power of appreciation. If you’ve ever kept a gratitude journal or...
It’s April 6 again, a day to celebrate and to mourn. My oldest daughter Maya died on this day twenty-eight years ago. As the Covid-19 pandemic rages around the globe, millions of us find our lives radically upended; we’re scared, and we’re grieving. For those of us...
Mass killings are happening at such an alarming rate that most of us can’t even remember when – or why – the most recent killing spree filled our Twitter feeds or our TV screens. Grieving faces, flowers and candles left on street corners, and empty rhetoric about...
“Don’t worry about anything – or anyone,” my grandmother said, and thumped her cane emphatically, underlining her words. She was speaking from the “other side,” a world where I could not hear her directly, but a gifted psychic could translate her words to me. I don’t...
by September Vaudrey My guest on "That's the Way Life Lives," September Vaudrey, is a warm, engaging writer. We first met through social media and this blog. After several years of "virtual friendship," I met September last May while doing a reading in Chicago. Our...
Today is Maya’s 43rd birthday. I was 43 years old when Maya died, and she was 19. So this year, a mysterious circle is forming. There are so many “I wonders” inside the circle of synchronicity, so many “What ifs?” What if Maya had lived to be middle aged? Who would...